The more I’m pulling away from you, the more I become the better version of myself.

Hi how are you?  I realise my blog was in hiatus for quite a while. I just got back from my trip to Hongkong and China. So yeah, I’m home now. I don’t feel good though being home. When I said home, I meant the city where I born and raised.

Oh boy, how Jakarta’s traffic depresses the hell out of me.

The thing is, I very much enjoy walking to the nearest park to read books, walking to bus stop, taking tubes, buses to go for a culinary trip, meeting friends on the other side of town, or going to the museum every weekend. I very much enjoy that. With bad public transportation system and paranoid mind like mine, it’s so much better to take private car to wander this city. What can you do when you constantly trapped in the car, in the street? I got dizzy every time I read a book in the car – not in the plane or train though, so I tweet, text friends, or probably sleep. Worse is when you have to drive yourself, which is very exhausting. Everywhere you go, you sort of trapped in a way.

The whole process you got to go through to get from hypothetical A to B is wasting so much time, energy and rather uninspiring.

At least I should be thankful for I could drive around with a car though, cause I’ve used public transportation in Jakarta several times, mostly while I was in high school. Trust me, it’s even more depressing than the traffic itself. They own the street, you know, those drivers. They cut lines, and stop whenever they want to. Well, I did a lot of walking while I was in HK and China, although my feet went sore by the end of the day, I sure as hell won’t complain about it. I like to walk. It’s the thing/exercise I’m very lack of in Jakarta. –That, if you don’t count walk in the malls as ‘the walk’. I spent most of my times in Shanghai. All cars in Shanghai drive like mad. Apparently they’re very fond of honking and very reluctant on hitting the brake, I’m serious, but they have good transportation system though, so to me, they’re OK.

Lovely thing about taking public transportation such as bus, train or tube is the experience of seeing and observing strangers. Their clothes, shoes, glasses, what kind of newspaper-magazine-book they read, their body languages and facial expressions, it all somehow excites me.

Sometimes I imagine and even make up their story just for the sake of fun. How this particular lady got cigarette burns at the bottom of her pink wrinkly skirt, and what’s on this old fellow mind, looking through the window with his hand tucked into his jacket. Was he thinking of the good ol' days? He looked very old, I'm guessing around 60-5, he has big dark circle under his eyes and a set of happy brown eyes, it looks happy because it shines. He’s probably on his way to meet his grandchildren. I bet he’s holding a gift for them right in his big puffy jacket, he won’t let go of it, so he won't lose it, and what kind of games these kids in front of me were playing? They looked like they had helluva time, giggling and push each other around. Boy was it nice to be kids and all. All and all, my mind is running like mad, and - voila! I've reached my destination. It’s time to get off of this inspiration box.

Now when you think about it, they (buses, trains, tubes) are like a moving, running boxes filled with interesting and inspiring living things. How can you not love it?

I write and read a lot during my trip to China, especially in Shanghai and Beijing, will try to make new artwork out of it, I will post pictures and stories later, but right now I need to deal with this awful feeling, geesh I’ve been here for only 2 nights and sick of it already? The only good thing about Jakarta is that most of my good friends live here. Is that all? I don’t know, maybe I should write down the lovely part of living in Jakarta, cause I’m sure there’re so many of it. I’m sure. Yeah.

But for now, my feeling for you leans toward bitter.

Oh Jakarta,

Why do I feel the more I’m pulling away from you, the more I become the better version of myself?